Urgent product recall
Dad, Look – I Wrote A Book! is being recalled
The Office has issued a recall of the book. Owners are asked to stop using it immediately and return it. Please read this notice carefully. It is the only thing about the book anyone has read.
Recall cancelled
Recall details
- Product
- Dad, Look – I Wrote A Book! (hardcover, the only copy)
- Units affected
- 0
- Units sold
- 0
- Units in existence
- 1, still on the author's shelf
- Price at time of recall
- $1,000,000
- Highest offer received
- $10
- Returns received
- 0
- Remedy
- Buy it.
Reported hazards
-
May cause reading
Contains approximately one book of sentences. Prolonged exposure may result in knowing what happens.
-
Price may cause dizziness
Several people have reported sitting down after seeing the price. Do not look at it while operating heavy machinery.
-
Includes beers and chocolates
Sold with beers and chocolates with the author. May contain nuts. May contain the author.
-
Choking hazard
Contains small parts, such as commas.
Incidents reported to the Office: 0. Nobody has been close enough to the book to be harmed by it.
Is my book affected?
Enter the serial number printed inside the back cover.
0 books checked so far. Affected: 0. The number you type stays in your browser.
What owners should do
- Stop using the book immediately.You are not using it. Nobody is. Well done.
- Return it to the place of purchase.You cannot. Nobody has purchased it.
- Contact the manufacturer for a refund.The manufacturer is the author. He has not received any money, so there is nothing to refund.
- Buy the book instead.This step is optional, but strongly recommended by the Office.
Update
The recall has been cancelled
After a thorough investigation, the Office found nothing to recall. Every unit ever sold has been accounted for. There are none. The book is declared safe, available, and still for sale.
Questions and answers
Why is the book being recalled?
Standard procedure. Every product is recalled sooner or later. This one was recalled before anyone bought it, which the Office considers efficient.
How many units are affected?
Zero. One copy exists and it has never left the author's shelf.
Is it safe to buy the book now?
Yes. The recall has been cancelled. In fact, the Office has never been more confident about a product.
Who issued this recall?
The Dad, Look Product Safety Office. Its staff is the author. Its budget is also the author.